He told me they were just razor bumps!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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