we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
