so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
