i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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