Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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