what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
