Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We just shotgunned beers for America
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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