you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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