so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We need a shit load of segways right now
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
