Whod you bang
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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