I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
