I accidentally had phone sex last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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