Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
