new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
