I'm lost and stupid without you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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