I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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