I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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