Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
