I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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