We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize