Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
