We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am one with the molecules
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
