Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
