his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
