i don't plan on having that self control this summer
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
