He uses pillows to masturbate.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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