i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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