oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
