He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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