idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
