Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
