You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
