i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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