Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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