There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well I just put wine in my tea
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
