I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
should my penis look like a turkey
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
