I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
