I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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