Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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