My room smells like vodka and shame
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
