people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We named our party play list daddy issues
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize