Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
