it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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