Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
