Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
