His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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