Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
