Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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