I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish I could punch you in the face.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
