Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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