false alarm. still invincible.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize