real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
