Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize