I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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