am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize