your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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