she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
