there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
