pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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