What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish i was in the wii world.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
