What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
