girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
