Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
