Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im holly from the hills drunk
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
His nipple licking is glorious
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