the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
