I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
